Reflection
After all, the end is never really the end
Not if you can read it all over again.
Part 1
“What's the best advice you’ve ever been given. Who told you it? Did you follow it? Why or why not?”
“You should never compare yourself to someone who is worse than you”
Personally, I don't like this idea. I find it odd.
For most of my life, and I'm sure for other people too, we’ve been told to never compare ourselves to someone that is worse than I. At its simplest form, this logic makes sense. If someone is better than you, then you should strive to be like that, and you should not feel accomplishment from the being better than someone worse than you.
I agree with most of this logic. I believe that in order to be the best that we can be, we should set not such tight limitations (as I had mentioned before in my intro). So what is it, that I don’t agree with?
One of the most important parts, of a learning experience, is to be able to feel achievement. This could range from the first prize trophy, to the certificate of participation that you received. But what is the point? There will always be someone better,
in theory. I spent most of my life following this philosophy, and ended up feeling like nothing I did could even pale in comparison.
If I were to get second prize, why didn't I get 1st?
I guess I did follow this idea. I based a lot of stuff on it, and it probably took too long for me to realise.
There is no point in being the best, if all you’re doing is being a hopeless perfectionist. The closet of trophies, collected over time, are just pieces to commemorate the memories of your success. Time pieces, that took hard work to earn, and to achieve. But the thought of a shelf full of silver memories, didn’t seem so great after all.
“You should never compare yourself to someone who is worse than you”. But that would mean I’m the worst.
Part 2
Over time, the words blurred together. But I would still try to be “the best”.
That one single experience, was when I finally understood what the best was.’
During quarantine, was my first debate competition ever. Easily, the nerves overtook and overwhelmed myself, and I could barely tell what I was going to do. I had prepared for so long, was it really just for me to lose? Yes. Yes it was.
They said it was close, and they said that we were almost there. For the first time, my first thought was, “I wonder what we did wrong”. Wait. What?
It felt sort of foreign. I had expected me to react way worse, even my teammates had. But not the slightest bit of remorse and shock seemed to come over me. It kind of felt funny, maybe it was because I got MVP? Or maybe it was because it was the first topic I’ve ever done.
I was the newbie, and I was also the first choice for the competition, and, I got the most valuable player. Starting off, barely knowing the vocabulary, and ending the first term, as the best player in the team. To finally be the best, and be compared to the others. It didn't feel right.
Oh, so that's what the idea meant.
I didn’t find my success, and my logic from finally being the best, and “winning”, but instead from realising that I improved, because I was better than I was before.
The shelves, filled with the silver trophies, had once been bronze. I had just forgotten, there was someone better, but there too was someone who wished they could get the silver.
Part 3
I still don’t like the idea of always comparing yourself to someone who is better.
Isn’t that, a bit too negative? Especially for someone who is just starting to learn. People always say, to learn to run you have to learn to walk, but being surrounded by people who are starting to sprint makes it pretty hard to focus on being barely even half their speed.
I did follow this concept, and I do not regret it. It helped me grow, and it helped me learn. But I think it’s wrong, and I wished that I had followed a different path. It might have been slower, and might not have been as effective, but for all I know, it could have been better.
Learning, is just like a story, where you get called to an adventure, and you face the up and downs. At the very end, you are presented with a prize. Perhaps, the truth of the world, a hidden glowy treasure, how to do algebra, or finally realising, how you should be improving.
I choose not to only focus on the deep trenches and the highest, but to also look back, to see the meadows and fields where I have once begun. To appreciate what it taught me, and to never forget what I learned there.
“You should never compare yourself to someone who is worse than you”
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Just trying to improve for the better.
(maybe try your past self instead)